


Universe Stuck

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck, Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Crossover, F/F, F/M, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Sburb/Sgrub
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2020-11-27 19:03:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20953397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A bunch of weird floating kids in pajamas just came to beach city in a golden ship,What is with people and crashing down unannounced on large ships by your home, that is not rhetorical you really want to know.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work is inspired by this work  
https://archiveofourown.org/works/7274353  
by shutupimshakira (Sniperdoodle) but since that story hasn't been updated in a long time I took it upon myself to re imagine the concept of the story, not re write just re imagining it the way I believe it would go down  
enjoy

Steven was making food with Amethyst to be eaten at the huge party some of the uncorrupted gems and towns folk were setting up as a ‘thank you’ to Steven for saving them, not for any particular time he has saved them but just in general, personally Steven didn’t think it was necessary but he would be a fool to pass on the opportunity to get to know all of the previously corrupted gems better, he only really knew a few of them, a few names that came to mind were Biggs, who Bismuth had been spending a lot of time around recently, Snowflake and obviously Nephrite or as she prefers to be called now, Centi. The making of food was interrupted when there was a knock on the screen door, when Steven went to open it, he was surprised by what he saw. A boy about Steven’s age with short, black and messy hair wearing a pair of rectangular glasses, the boy had three buck teeth and was grinning a Steven, none of that was anything out of the ordinary but what the boy was wearing was the real kicker here, he wore what looked like blue pajamas with a large sock like hood and a light blue symbol on his chest.

“Hiya Steven, I’m John!” _ John _ put his hand out in front of Steven for him to shake and so he did. Steven wanted to ask what he could do for John but he didn’t give Steven that chance “I’m just gonna cut right to the chase, there is a large golden ship heading towards earth with a lot of people on it, the problem being that it’s so fast that if it were to hit the earth it would create an explosion so big that all life on earth would be killed” he said all of this like it was just some casual thing that happens in his day to day life, before Steven could even react to his statement however, John continued “But don’t ya worry, I’m here to stop it”

Steven quickly raised his hands up “wait wait wait wait wait, what?” that was the only response his mind could come up with.

“I’ll explain when I’m done but just so you know it’s about to get really loud” and at that John flew out, _ wait, FLEW!? _

Steven looked back at Amethyst who had just called the rest of the crystal gems to come over, she looked just as confused as Steven was but by the sound of John’s voice they didn’t really have time to mess around. They ran out of the house after John only to see him creating some sort of large blue windy thing by moving his arms, now Steven understood what he meant when he said that it’s about to get loud, the sound of the wind spiraling through the air was almost deafening from all the way down here, it must be a lot louder for John who’s right up in the windy thing. After a few seconds, Steven saw a yellow object moving towards earth in the distance _ that must be the ship John was talking about _.

As he was trying to comprehend all that was happening, Steven heard the muffled sound of Pearl screaming his name in the distance, he looked to the source of the sound and saw Pearl and Garnet running towards them on the other side of the beach “What is going on Steven!”

“Uh, that guy is saving the earth I think” Steven replied pointing at John very unsure if John even can save the earth so Steven quickly got to thinking of ways to stop the ship themselves. Laser light cannons? No there are people on that ship. The Diamonds? The ship is moving to fast, there is no way they could contact them in time, let alone for them to get here in time. Obsidian? Very unlikely to work. The golden ship was closing in whilst the windy thing was getting larger and larger by the second, Steven looked at Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl all with varying levels of fright except for Garnet who looked relatively alright so that probably means that everything is going to be alright, probably.

That hypothesis would be tested almost immediately as the ship started moving through the windy thing, slowing down immensely. It moved down towards the beach and landed safely without anyone getting hurt. All of the crystal gems and John, who looked like he was about to pass out, sighed in relief. John flew back down to the ground panting heavily. Steven jumped to John with the intent of, first checking if he was alright, and second ask every why and how that needed answering.

“You okay?” Steven asked as he approached John.

“Y-yeah” John was still panting heavily but besides that he looked alright “I know I told you I would explain everything when I was done but I think it would be easier to explain with everyone here” at that 5 humans(?) all wearing strange pyjamas flew out of the golden ship, one wore a large black dress with a white symbol on the front, she had what looked like dog ears on her head, she also bore a striking resemblance to John with the buck teeth, actually all but two of them looked like they were related to John in some respect, the one following the girl with the dress was wearing no pants with a golden outfit and white symbol on his chest, he looked practically identical to John, the third person was another who looked very much like John wearing a beige outfit with a hood and a green symbol adorning her chest, and the fourth person, who was the first one without a resemblance to John, or any of the previous for that matter, had his very light blonde hair slicked back wearing a pair of shades looking a lot like the ones Peridot wears, he was wearing a magenta prince outfit with the short royal pantaloons and all, and the final person who was another one who bore no resemblance to John had light blonde hair much like the previous one, she wore a dark blue outfit with short sleeves and gloves.

“Is, Is that everyone?” Steven asked pointing to the flying kids.

John put a hand on his chin “Well, there are a lot more ‘people’ on the ship but there is one that I would like to be here to make all this explaining a little bit easier” John sighed “Where the fu-”

“Caw caw bitch” 

Steven flinched a bit whilst John shrieked at the voice before making a large colourful hammer appear out of nowhere and smashing the source of the voice. Steven turned around to see whatever made the sound only to see an orange and green winged person with shades, cat ears, a weird half moon symbol on their chest sitting atop of John’s hammer, they also bore quite a resemblance to the two floating blondes. “JESUS FUCKING CHRIST DAVEPETA!” Steven heard Pearl gasp loudly in the distance.

“DON’T SWEAR IN FRONT OF MY BABY!” they all heard as Pearl ran towards them making everyone stare.

The orange ghost bird thing but a hand on his chest in mock offence “John how could you swear in front of a child, I thought better of you” Steven giggle at that and he heard the same thing from the John’s friends behind him, John however was not amused.

At this point Pearl and the other crystal gems had rand down to them and Pearl already had her spear out “Who are you people and how dare you swear in front of my baby!?”

“We are so sorry for John’s furl mouth m’am” the bird, John called them Davepeta, right? Apologized to Pearl.

The girl wearing beige floated down to John’s side, “We will not let John swear in front of your son again” Pearl’s face lit up with pride at the word ‘son’. The beige wearing girl turned to John “And you young man are hereby grounded until further notice”

John bore the same expression Steven had whenever the Diamonds were trying to convince him that they’d changed “no” he stated in a low irritated voice.

She let out a dramatic gasp and the pants less boy walked up to John with a stern expression “John, listen to your mother”

John rubbed his temples clearly annoyed at his _ parents(?) _ antics “I am getting a migraine from listening to you” he sighed before straightening himself and floating up into the air, “You know what!” he made a dramatic motion with his hands “You explain all of this stuff, I’m gonna check on Casey” and with that he disappeared in a flash of light.

The long haired girl with the black dress leaned over to the beige girl “should I tell him that Casey is on Lowas?” Whatever Lowas was just another question in the already mountainous pile of questions Steven wanted answers to.

The beige lady shook her head with a chuckle and looked to Steven and the crystal gems “I’m sure you all have a lot of questions for us” 

“Yeah” Steven crossed his arms “and I think we should start off with the one we’re all thinking of” Steven took a deep breath, “What the heck!?” The outburst made Pearl flinch, Amethyst laugh and Garnet stood with her arms crossed stoically “Like, I know you probably don’t mean any harm but I’ve just about had it with people showing up unannounced in large flying ships!” The final part of his outburst made all of the crystal gems laugh, even Garnet gave a slight chuckle.

The beige girl stepped forward, “We assure you that we mean no harm and we would’ve warned you if we had the time and could, but enough of that, I believe some introductions are in order” she reached out her hand for Steven to shake “Hi there, I’m Jane Crocker! Oh and we already know all of your names” she put her hands on her hips and seemed to scan the crystal gems “you’re Garnet” she raised a hand and pointed at, well Garnet “ you’re Amethyst” she pointed at Amethyst “you’re Pearl” at Pearl “And you’re the son of the leader of the crystal gems, Steven Quartz Universe.” All of them were surprised at her knowledge of all their names at first but then Steven recalled his message to the universe, that had to be the way she knew their names, right?

The pantless boy walked forward with his hand already out “and I’m Jake English, pleasure to make your acquaintance!” Steven didn’t notice it before but his voice had a thick English accent which made his name pretty accurate, Steven took his hand to shake it.

The dog eared girl bounced forward after he and Jake had shook hands “I’m Jade Harley!” Despite her resemblance to both Jane and Jake, her voice had no hints of british anywhere, and also she had a different last name from the both of them. Jade seemed to notice his confusion and chuckled “Just in case you’re wondering, me and John are technically these two’s” she gestured to Jane and Jake “biological children, I won’t explain how now because it’s extremely complicated” Steven nodded.

After that, the two blondes took steps forward to introduce themselves, the first to talk was the girl “sup peeps I am the all powerful rouge of void, the master of marksmanship, the second hottest girl in all of paradox space, the-”

“Her name’s Roxy Lalonde ‘n I’m Dirk Strider” the other blonde interrupted with his slightly texan accent.

“Diiiiiiiiiiirk! That intro was sooooooo boring!” 

“It was the same as the others” his stoicism was on par with Garnet;his expression was completely still throughout the exchange.

“But-” Roxy was once more interrupted by a shades wearing fellow flying in front of her.

“And I’m Davepeta!” The green and orange cat, bird, ghost thingy was doing a cartoony pose with their arms in the air.

“Now that all the introductions are out of the way” Pearl stepped forward “Could you explain, as Steven put it, ‘What the heck’?”

“Nah, we can’t just yet for two reasons” Dirk answered putting up two fingers “Despite John saying we should explain, he has more insight than any of us on certain aspects of our circumstances” he lowered one finger “And I’d advice y’all to call anybody that you assume would need to know about our situation and frankly we do not want to explain all this shit more than we have to” 

Steven put a hand to his chin thinking of all the gems and people he should call “Well, we should probably call the Diamonds-” 

He was going to go on but was quickly interrupted by Davepeta “The Diamonds!?” Their normally chill facial features morphed into something akin to a scared cat “Why would you call the Diamonds!?”

“Uh” Steven really didn’t expect such a response, Steven thought that they would all know of his relation with the Diamonds since they would have had to hear his broadcast to the universe to know all their names, right? “They visit semi often and they are a great help if a bit overbearing”

All of the new humans plus the cat bird human, looked confused except for Dirk who just calmly clarified “I think what Davepeta meant was that we were under the impression that you wouldn’t necessarily be on the best of terms with these so called Diamonds” now it was the gems turn to be confused.

“Wait, then how do you know our names?” how would they know their names without having heard the broadcast?

“We have a friend that can see into the future” Dirk said very matter-of-factly. “Oh and also just to alleviate some future confusion we are from another universe”

Steven rubbed his temples trying to process all of the information “Why does everything have to be so darn complicated”

Dirk smiled for the first time since arriving “Story of mah life partner”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being late, I’m just very lazy  
Wrote this thing on my phone which was quite the experience

The list of people who  _ needed _ to hear the story of the newly arrived humans(?) and bird cat person, wasn’t big at all but when word gets around more people than necessary gather for example, they only called Biggs and Nephrite to represent Little Homeworld but Nephrite brought with her, her crew and for some reason Snowflake who she was riding on the shoulders of, when Davepeta saw Nephrite and Snowflake they went up to Jade and whispered loudly “I ship it” which made Jade chuckle, Steven, knowing what the word meant from Peridots many rants about Camp pining hearts, smiled at the implications. Biggs came with Bismuth, Peridot and Lapis which wasn’t really surprising since, if Bismuth isn’t hanging out with Biggs, she would most likely be hanging with Peridot and Lapis. Steven had called Lars who brought the off colours, which they expected, but they also Sadie killer and the suspects. The diamonds and Spinel were the only ones who didn’t bring anybody extra since they couldn’t exactly  _ bring _ anyone due to the fact that they weren’t physically there, they were called on the diamond line.

With all the people, gems and feline big and small that arrived, Steven got worried that this might overwhelm their guests(?) and went to check on them. He entered the beach house where they were preparing their speech. At this point John had returned and was hugging what looked to be a large yellow lizard wearing a robe, John was at the same time talking to, the air? And it seemed like his conversation with nobody in particular was making him angry but also blush. In the kitchen Steven saw Jade and Davepeta snickering to each other whilst giving John occasional glances which seemed to only make the snickers increase. On the couch Dirk and Jane were discussing what they would say during the speech with the occasional comment from Roxy who was sitting on the floor and texting on her phone. Jake was-

“Hi Steven!” Steven jumped to the side, startled by Jake’s loud and sudden greeting “Oh crud, sorry for startling you, mate”

Steven raised his hand with a laugh “No, no, It’s fine”

Jake put his hands on his hips, “You know you’re a one hell of a chap for helping us w-” Jake stopped “um, my eyes are up here” it was then Steven realised he had been staring at Jake’s muscular thighs for who knows how long. He quickly moved his eyes to Jake’s, embarrassed.

“I’m so-sorry, I didn’t mean to-“ Jake let out a boisterous laugh and slapped Steven on the back.

“It’s alright chap!” His laugh had caught the attention of everyone else in the beach house “Even Strider can’t tear his eyes away from these babies sometimes” Jake said slapping the back of his thigh.

At the mention of Dirk’s name everyone looked in his direction instead, his face as stoic as ever seemingly not even paying attention and when his shades started magically floating off his face, Steven saw his bright orange eyes which were staring directly into Jake’s rear-end.

Jane slammed her palms on the table in front of her “YOU’VE BEEN STARING AT JAKE’S ASS THIS ENTIRE TIME?!” Jane’s shout of anger was so loud that Steven could hear Pearl gasp loudly at the word usage “Have you not been listening to me this entire time?!” 

Dirk, who was still staring at Jake’s rear, answered simply “I’m a very good multitasker.” which made Steven along with everyone else in the room other than Jane chuckle.

Jane groaned loudly into her palms “I get that Jake has a nice ass, that fact is undeniable, but could you fucking stop being the living embodynment of homosexuality for FIVE FUCKING MINUTES!?”

Dirk responded without missing a beat and without tearing his eyes from Jake’s rear “No.” Jane groaned even louder this time “Hey if I can’t tap that then I could at least study his ass enough so I can make a perfect replica of his ass, or as close to perfection one could get without breaking several laws of physics since that ass was molded by some sort of trans dimensional horror terror more powerful than even Lord English himself and trained in the arts of ass molding for millions of years to create the perfect ass. At first this horror terror merely dreamed of and admired the masters of ass molding but after a series of comedic events he finds himself face to face with the great sage of ass molding who seemingly at random chose him to be the chosen ass molder of legends, he, along with all of the other masters of ass molding believe this to be some sort of mistake but the sage was adamant that his decision was right. At first his ass molding was subpar at best but after he showed that sick beats could motivate him to do anything, his ass molding then only grew and grew until he had to face an evil ass molder. Their fight was legendary with several comedic beats that will always stand the test of time, until the end of the fight where the horror terror used an ancient ass molding technique to create Jake’s ass and defeat the evil ass molder”

There were a few seconds of silence proceeding Dirk’s impromptu monologue, or whatever that was, although it seemed like Steven was the only one who was confused by it all  _ Is this a regular occurrence for these people!? _

The silence was broken by Davepeta “eh, I’d give it a seven outa ten” at the confusing statement, Dirk, who had somehow but on a new pair of shades with an orange tint, rose an eyebrow.

“Really? How come?” 

“Well you skipped several important story beats from the movie, not to mention the fact that you called Tai lung ‘The Evil ass molder’, seriously dude? Oh and you didn’t even ment-” Davepeta’s critique(?) was interrupted by another loud groan from Jane.

”WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS SHIT!” Steven could hear another gasp from Pearl on the beach and a loud guffaw from Amethyst. ”We gotta tell those rocks about our shit so they can help us! So we can’t spend all our time talking about nothing!”

Dirk put a hand on his chest as if to feign offence ”It’s not noth-” Dirk was interrupted by a hand placed over his mouth by Roxy.

”Dirky, Dirky, as much as I would love to hear your and Davepeta’s semi ironic discussion, slash debate, slash argument, Janey’s righ- agh!” Roxy retracted her hand with a disgusted look on her face ”Dirk! WTF!” It seemed like Dirk was going to retort before Jane grabbed the two of them by their collars and started dragging them out the door kicking out Jake in the process.

A second after, Jade and Davepeta floated out the door. Steven wondered why John hadn’t gone out with the rest of them so he looked to where he was last. John was laying on the stairs not saying anything anymore almost as if he had forgotten he was supposed to be doing something. John did look like he was concentrating on something in front of him but to Steven’s knowledge he was staring at nothing, it was almost as if he was reading text on his glasses which would be absurd. 

”JOHN GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!” Jane’s scream broke the silence making John abruptly stand up and subsequently fall right on his face.

_ This is going to be a long day. _

* * *

  
  


As far as speeches, or whatever that was, go it wasn’t the worst Steven’s ever heard since he actually understood what they were talking about. Mostly. Though the entire display was was almost three hours long, only one of those hours were spent explaining their situation, the remaining two hours were spent doing, as Jane put it, ”Ironic Bullshit” most of which was a rap battle between Dirk and Davepeta.

In between the rap battles and other ”Ironic Bullshit” Steven was able to piece together what they went through. John and Jade along with two others who would be arriving in a few days, played a game which, if Steven was understanding right, worked as the universe's reproductive system where their job was to create a universe whilst simultaneously destroying their planet. They explained how Davepeta’s real name was Davepetasprite^2 and was a bi product of the game. Their game was apparently a null session which meant they couldn’t create a universe so they had to initiate what was called a scratch which would restart the universe where their parents, Dirk, Jane, Jake and Roxy, became players of their own session, when asked how their parents could be the same age as them the only answer they gave was shenanigans. When a universe is scratched all inhabitants of said universe are erased entirely and since they didn’t want to be erased they came up with a plan to escape the universe before it’s scratching where they went on a three year journey to make it to their scratch reality. When they made it to the new version of their universe shenanigans happened which lead to them having large scale battles with a bunch of bad guys, then they planted their new universe but due to some ”temporal fuckery” they were locked away from the straight path to their universe so they had to take the long way round through two light speed ships.

There were many doubts and questions which was expected when some random strangers claim they created your universe and the way they did that was through some weird game. Lars asked ”So are like, gods or something?” Steven assumed the answer to that question would be no since they were just a bunch of regular kids when they started the game, though that didn’t explain their strange powers, but lo and behold their answer wasn’t a ’no’ but John answered with a 

”Well, sorta” how could someone be sort of a god? ”we are  _ your _ gods in the sense that we created your universe but we’re also gods in a different sense, because the game let us ’ascend’ into ’godhood’ which is what these kooky outfits are about” John explained, gesturing at his blue hood.

Lars seemed even more confused than he did before, same with everyone else ”So wait” Lars said ”do y’all got powers or something?” He asked.

”Did you see that giant blue whirlwind earlier today?” John asked.

”Yeah?”

”That was me” John stated simply making a majority of the people and gems in the crowd gasp loudly. 

”So can all of you do that!?” Lars seemed to try and hold back his shout.

”Oh no, we've all got wildly different powers and even my powers aren’t just creating big winds” that didn’t seem to calm anybody, ”But don’t worry, we won’t do anything to you but even if we did there’s really nothing you can do since we’ve fought some of the strongest beings in, the, um” John trailed off.

Jane looked at John with an exasperated look ”John, what does your foot taste like?”

John put his hands up slowly walking backwards ”Imma just, shut up”

Jane growled ”Ugh” she pinched the bridge of her nose as she took a step forward ”As John was  _ trying _ to say” she seemed to be barely be opening her mouth as she resists gritting her teeth ”We mean no harm, we come seeking peace with fellow humans” Roxy whispered something into Jane’s ear ”ugh, and with gems, I guess” 

”What do you mean ’I guess’?” Yellow diamond spoke up and with that the air grew heavy which Dirk seemed to notice.

”Don’t worry, we’re all happy to do peace and shit with gems, it’s just Jane is a little bit xenophobic” the statement didn’t really do anything with the heavy air until everyone noticed Jane’s reaction.

”I’M NOT XENOPHOBIC!” Her angry screech made a few gems and humans chuckle lifting the heavy air ”It’s just that I don’t-” whatever she was about to say was cut off by a hand placed on her mouth by Roxy.

”This is not the hill you want to die on Janey” for a few seconds, the two were just staring at each other until Roxy retracted her hand in disgust ”JANEY! WTF!” It looked like Jane was about to retort before Dirk grabbed the two of them by their hoods and then put them under his arms.

”Where done here” Dirk said to the crowd before floating over to Steven ”We’ll discuss the details later without so many peeps around”

”Sure” Dirk only gave a subtle nod as he floated towards the ship.


	3. Chapter 3

Steven’s feet hit the golden floor as he walked the halls of the equally as golden ship. He didn’t really have any way of contacting the strangers, they weren’t exactly strangers anymore but he didn’t really have anything else to call them, so he was forced to trespass onto their ship to even communicate with them. So there he was, walking through this labyrinth of a ship which resembles more of a castle than anything. He walked and walked, feeling like he was going in circles until he started hearing muffled sounds through the walls. Muffled sounds that sounded like an argument. Steven’s instincts kicked in and he started sprinting towards the origins of the argument. He barely made it 5 feet forward before being stopped by a floating clown, ghost lady with one floating hand,  _ What? _

”Oh my, are you lost dear?” Her voice was very soft, very similar to his mom, just slightly older sounding her voice also reminded Steven of Jane’s, for some reason. Steven also realized that she glowed a lot like Davepeta did except without the blinking and blue instead of orange and green.

”No, I came here to talk with John and everyone but then I started hearing arguments and by instinct I started running towards the sound before you appeared.” His explanation came out very quickly due to the argument getting louder, though he still couldn’t hear what they were saying, he could however pick up the words ’xenophobic’, ’trolls’ and a meriad of diverse swear words.

The ghost lady put her one hand on her chin, scratching it ”Who is this  _ John  _ you speak of?” The lady asked, which was not what he was expecting. He assumed she would know John and the others due to her being on the ship.

”oh, um, he-”

”Hoo hoo hoo! I was just pulling your leg dearie, of course I know who John is, Hoo hoo hoo!”  _ She’s a clown alright _ Steven found himself thinking at the ghost’s joke ”And I also know who  _ you _ are Steven.” 

”Oh, that’s good” Steven wasn’t really paying attention to the clown woman, he was still worried about the sounds of arguing ”Uh, do you know where the argument is coming from I kind of want to stop them from, uh, doing that” Steven just realised how strange it sounded for him to want to stop an argument between two or more people he barely knows but he just can’t help it.

”Hoo hoo hoo! Your spirit is quite incredible dearie, but I’m afraid that would be inadvisable, arguments with Jane tend to never end and they get rather  _ heated _ ” the ghost’s seemingly ever present smile dropped for a second before rising right back up. ”But if you’d like, we could eavesdrop on them if you like” Steven wasn’t too keen on eavesdropping on people he barely knows since it might break some of the trust they have in him, apparently his apprehension for eavesdropping showed on his face since the ghost quickly reassured him “You don’t need to worry about them not liking it dearie, they eavesdrop on each other all the time and no one ever complains.” Steven was still a bit apprehensive but as the late Mark Twain once said, ‘If you’re going to trust anybody then you should trust weird clown ghost ladies’ Steven was certain that Mark Twain said that.

The ghost- Actually, what’s her name? He should probably ask “hey, um, what’s your name?”

“Nannasprite, but everybody just calls me Nanna, dear.”

Alright, with that settled.  _ Nanna _ brought Steven to a tall door, which was slightly ajar, where all of the sounds came from.

“Jane what the fuck is wrong with you!” Steven flinched as he heard Jades angry voice coming from the room.

“What?” Janes retort sounded like she genuinely didn’t understand why Jade was angry with her, so maybe if Jade chose to explain why she was angry Jane could understand and apologise.

“Jane, do you really not understand how xenophobic that is?” John’s voice seemed calm but he was clearly putting on quite a bit of restraint.

“It’s not xenophobic if it’s true! The alternian culture is barbaric!”  _ Alternian? What’s that? _

“But that’s not even what you fucking said!” whatever restraint John had put on his voice clearly went out the window in a matter of seconds. At John’s outburst, Steven could feel a small breeze speed through the halls of the ship, he thought this was weird at first until he remembered that John has some sort of wind powers. ”You said, quote unquote ’ _ Almost every single troll is barbaric _ ’”

”What’s the difference?”

It sounded like the entire room groaned at that ”There is a HUGE difference!” The breeze started to get stronger if only by a slight bit. ”One is you assessing the culture in which trolls have been subjugated under for lord knows how long, and claiming that it’s barbaric, the  _ other _ is you claiming that the majority of an entire species is barbaric based on nothing!” The wind had really started to pick up at this point and Steven was starting to get slightly scared.

”What do you mean based on nothing?!” Jane didn’t even seem to notice the strong winds that spread throughout the ship. ”How about the fact that one the trolls literally crippled and later  _ killed _ another of the group and now they all are acting like none of that even mattered!” Steven had to hold on to the wall as to not move from the force of the gust. ”Or what about the troll that caused almost ALL of our problems!? Oh and don’t get me started on their disgusting  _ romance _ ” Jane said ’romance’ with palpable vitrial ”what was it called? Kikmitude?” 

”Kismesissitude” John responded with a shaky voice, it sounded like he was speaking through his teeth.

”Yeah whatever…” there was a short pregnant silence as the gusts started shaking the ship ”Oh are you offended” Jane said somewhat mockingly ”I should have figured, with your gross relationship with that slut, Terepy was it?” At that it seemed as if the winds had stopped coming, but when Steven tried to breath he found that it was a lot harder. It didn’t take him too long to realize that John had physically stopped all air on the ship, which was kind of terrifying to say the least, but after hearing a few whispers from the room the air was released but at the air being released, Steven felt his body start floating upwards, he immediately realized what was happening and didn’t have time to consider what that entailed so he quickly formed a bubble and activated his floating powers. Just about 2 seconds past before Steven could feel and hear the entire ship crash back to the ground and with the crash his bubble zoomed into the ceiling making him start to bounce around the hall until his bubble went through the door he was just next to, crashing into what had to be some sort of sharp object because his bubble popped in the crash.

Everyone in the room was now staring at him, though Jane was no longer in the room with them. ”um” was all that he could muster as the group stared at him.

”How much did you hear?” Jade, who had walked up to steven, asked as she offered her hand to him. He took the hand before answering.

”Um everything from you saying ’ _ Jane what the f-frick is wrong with you _ ’” he said with a sheepish smile.

There was a short silence until Dirk, who was standing with his arms crossed at the wall, chuckled ”Kid, you can say fuck.” Steven grew even more sheepish ”An we ain’t angry with you if that’s what you're wondering about.” 

Steven sighed, relieved ”Alright” He started ”What the heck was that!?” He really needed to stop being so meek around these people just because they could probably kill him on accident ”Does that always happen when you’re angry?” The question was mostly directed towards John, but he did also want to know if that sort of stuff happened with the others as well.

All of them looked at John believing he would be the only one with the answer ”I don’t know” John shrugged clearly embarrassed. 

”What do you mean you don’t know?” Steven understood what it was like to not have control over one’s powers but at least he knows when his powers mess up and why, ”Have you never been angry before?”

”I’ve been angry but never this type of anger” John had started twiddling his thumbs at this point ”Like, Terezi has pissed me off before but it always felt” John paused as if looking for the right word to describe his feelings ”good, in a sense, this was something completely different from anything I’ve ever felt before.”

Steven pinched the bridge of his nose ”Alright…..” He sighed heavily ”Okay…” Steven knew stuff would get complicated once alternate universes came into play, but this was all too much for him. ”So, I’m just gonna start with” he paused ”what are trolls?” All of them looked at each other seemingly trying to see if any of the others wanted to answer ”Please don’t tell me we are going to have to have a repeat of, whatever that display before was.”

”Nah” Roxy stepped forward ”you really only need to get like, your sister and your moms”

Steven blinked,  _ did I hear that right?  _ ”My what?”

Roxy put her hands on her hips ”Your sister and your moms, like the hot square afro gal, the hot turquoise jacket gal and the hot short purple gal.”

Steven blinked again ”My….” he wasn’t sure how to respond to that, on the one hand if they were to hear themselves being referred to as such, they’d probably take it in stride, Amethyst would definitely start calling him lil bro and Pearl already refers to him as her baby, Garnet wouldn’t change much but she’d take pride in it in her own way. In all honesty, Roxy wasn’t completely incorrect in her assertion, they are his family.

”Roxy I think you broke him” Dirk’s voice cut through his thoughts.

Roxy looked shocked ”Oh no!” She put her hands on the sides of her face, ”What did I say?”

”I believe you misjudged the relation between Steven and his team-mates.” Jake speculated.

”Whaaaat? No, didn’t you see how gay Bird mom and Square mom were for each other, well, it was Bird mom clinging to Square mom the entire time”

”Nah she was totally checking out Amethyst, didn’t you see how often she just stared at her ass for entire minutes at a time.” John interjected.

”Davepeta said that they ship Pearl with the green dorito” Jade said.

”What? Why her?” John asked ”Did we even see the two interact for the entire time we’ve been here?”

Jade shrugged ”They said it was just instinct and I happen to trust their instinct, especially when it comes to shipping.” 

Roxy turned to Dirk ”what about you Di Stri?”

”I agree with Davepeta”

”Ugh, just because they’re part Strider” Roxy seemed like she really wanted the other to agree with her that Pearl and Garnet were gay for one another.

”No, I agree with them because a part of them spent the better part of her childhood shipping together all of her friends in into each quadrant, so, and this might just be a hunch but, Davepeta is the most qualified to know” Dirk paused for a second ”oh and Jane says she ships Pearl with the fat bearded man with long hair.”

There was a long silence after that, everybody seemingly trying to process the fact that Jane ships Pearl with Steven’s dad. ”Okay if even I could realize that she’s super gay then anybody should.”

Roxy seemed to fake a choked sob ”oh but John, she had an accident when she was young that cost her her gaydar.” Roxy started fake crying.

”Yeah John it was fucking tragic as hell she wouldn’t talk for weeks after, show some goddamn respect.” Dirk explained.

John chuckled before turning to Jake ”What about you? Who do you think Pearl is gay for?”

”Oh well John, I was surprised when nobody mentioned it but the most obvious ship is Pearl with that blue babe in golden sandals” 

John stared at Jake for a second before shrugging and turning back to the rest ”makes sense” he mumbled.

”Wiat, wait, wait” Roxy started waving her hands around ”why don’t we just ask Steven for the answer? He’d probably know best, right?” Everybody mumbled in agreement. Roxy turned to Steven who had been standing there off to the side the entire time ”So Steven” Roxy began ”Who is bird mom gay for?”

”Um” Everybody was now staring at Steven ”Well, I just think she’s in general very gay”

It looked like Roxy was about to say some sort of retort but was interrupted with Pearl bursting through the door “What is going on here!?”

_ Oh boy _


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, su future was pretty good

”So” Pearl began ”you had an argument with Jane, and you got angry, so angry in fact that you lost control over your powers and  _ accidentally  _ lifted this several tonne ship and then dropped it, am I understanding this correctly?” They were all sitting in what Jade claimed to be the living room but it really just looked like any other room on the ship. They sat around a round table on couches and chairs that definitely weren’t made for the ship, almost as if they raided a bunch of different houses for furniture . Pearl sat on one of the couches with Amethyst and Garnet next to her, on the armchair next to them sat Steven, next to him, Jade and Davepeta shared a chair, next to the couple sat John on a small stool facing Pearl. Next to him sat a man in a suit wearing a fedora whom John referred to as Dad on a couch with Nannasprite and Nannasprite(?) who both were handing out tea and cookies with their floating hands, next to them sat a pair of unfamiliar faces both with the same familiar glow from Nannasprite(s) and Davepeta. The first one was red with cracked sunglasses which were clearly the same as Dirk’s, he had a pair of strange horns(?) protruding from his skull one being shaped like a curved arrow and the other looked like the tip had been snapped off, on his shirt was a red sign which looked a lot like the sign of sagittarius. The second one was blue with a faint tint of green, he seemed very furry from where Steven was sitting and he wore a jacket over a shirt with the sign of taurus on it, he had a mohawk and a pair of bull horns coming out of the sides of his skull above which were a pair of cat ears.

John was twiddling his thumbs looking at his feet ”Well when you put like that I sound rather immature” John looked up from his shoes ”But I had a damn good reason to be pissed off.”

”Do tell” Pearl didn’t really look unconvinced but just waiting to berate John for overreacting. 

“Well I think I should start with the last thing she said since it was the thing that made me the most angry” John paused scowling at nothing in particular “she called my  _ partner  _ a slut.” John looked like he was about to elaborate, or at least explain the rest of the things that made him angry but Pearl interrupted him.

“I understand” Pearl stated simply before taking a sip out of the tea that one of the Nannasprites gave her.

“I-what?”

“Your reaction was completely justified, you have no reason to elaborate.” Steven could tell that everyone in the room who wasn’t a gem were in shook at her response, they probably assumed the worst outcome but instead got the best possible outcome. John looked to him and Steven just shrugged. Steven had heard the stories of Pearl almost killing humans for calling his mom a slut or anything else derogatory, and Steven is aware of Ruby’s temperament so she would probably do the same to anyone insulting Sapphire in any way.

Steven thought that they would be relieved and to an extent, they did look relieved, but all of them, John and Jade especially, looked apprehensive, like they had to tell them something they didn’t want to. That’s when Steven remembered the mentions of trolls and Alternia during John and Jane’s argument. Steven looked to the gems next to him and saw that Garnet was concentrating, the way she concentrates when using her future vision although it was extremely subtle and you could only notice if you’ve known her for a long time, the way she was just staring forward was a great indicator of her using future vision. After a second, Garnet’s face grew sour “Do you have anything else to tell us?” Garnet leaned forward almost scowling.

John seemed surprised by the question and gave an uncertain “yeah kinda” John rubbed the back of his neck looking to Jade who shrugged at him to which John gave her a betrayed look. John looked back at Garnet and sighed “I would love to stall but that’s not going to get us anywhere. You see not all of our friends who are coming in a few days are human, most of them in fact are Trolls” 

At the last word Pearl rose at record speed from her seat “Your bringing Trolls to Earth!?” She shouted at John though the question was directed towards all of them.

John rose much like Pearl at her question, so did Jade, Davepeta and the two unknown glowing guys. Steven thought it would be John to retort first judging from his previous argument with Jane, but before anyone else could talk the red glowing ghost spoke up “You know  _ nothing _ about our species!”

“I know enough!” Pearl retorted.

“I was being literal, lady. You know absolutely nothing about trolls as a species if you insinuate that trolls coming to this planet alongside another species entirely would be disastrous!” The red ghost had his hands on the table and he was shaking the room from doing that. Davepeta floated over to the red ghost and started patting his face whilst shushing him which seemed to calm him down as the room stopped shaking.

Pearl didn’t seem bothered by the outburst “Well, I  _ know _ that Trolls have destroyed thousands of planets and eradicates whatever life that comes their way.”

The red ghost rose an eyebrow at Pearl “If I'm not mistaken, gems did that too.”

Pearl slammed her palms on the table ”There is a huge difference!” She snapped.

”How?” Several of the people in the room erupted but most surprisingly was Amethyst.

”Amethyst!” Pearl looked betrayed ”Don’t you trust me?”

Amethyst crossed her arms ”I do, I was just asking a simple question.”

Pearl still looked betrayed as she sighed ”Gems are programmed to listen to their diamonds whilst for trolls, destroying everything in their path is just in their nature.”

Amethyst raised an eyebrow at Pearl ”Okay, what’s the difference?”

Pearl was about to respond but Dirk beat her to the punch “There isn’t one.” Pearl’s gaze shot towards Dirk “For complex A.I such as gems which have the ability to learn and change, there is very little difference between nature and programming, I would know I designed an A.I that did exactly that” Steven couldn’t see where Dirk was looking, but out of the corner of his eye he saw the red ghost smile giving Dirk a thumbs up.

“Well how can I trust that they have changed from their nature?” Pearl retorted 

”That’s assuming you’re right about it being their nature” John crossed his arms with a scowl, clearly fed up with all the arguing ”I’m not going to deny that trolls tend to be more violent, but that’s mostly due to their subjugation under the Condesce who wants trolls to be confrontational and violent to, one, male them better fighters for her and two, make it so there’s a lower likelihood of trolls working together to rebel.” Everyone was staring at John ”what? I’m right.”

”Yeah, but” it was Jade who was first to respond to John ”no offense, but you don’t normally say such insightful things”

John squinted his eyes at Jade ”I’m not sure how I can  _ not  _ take offense to that, but whatever. Terezi and I were talking about alternia and their strange laws a few days ago, she had quite a few theories which she was more than happy to share with me.”  _ Terezi, that must have been the partner Jane insulted _ .

”Yeah, that’s what I don’t get about your relationship” Dirk interjected ”you say that you hate one another, but then the next minute, you have these civil discussions, I just don’t get it.”  _ Hate? Is Terezi not John’s partner? _

John wiped his head back with a groan ”It’s not as simple as mutual hate, there are nuances to kismesissitude that go beyond just hate, in fact, hate is only a small fraction of all that having kismesis entails” John paused ”or at least in Terezi and I’s case, it depends on the type of kismesissitude for example me and Terezi  _ hate _ each other but we still care deeply about one another and we want to see the other improve their faults, and sometimes we like to piss each other off, but that’s the fun of having a kismesis!” He shouted the last part with a level of enthusiasm Steven only hears when Jasper is ranting about fighting ”Someone you know will challenge you no matter what, someone who will always be there to tell you that,  _ no, you ain’t shit and I’m going to make sure you know that _ , someone who will always be your equal because they will always keep you grounded as you do for them!” John’s speech was really starting to resonate with Steven, though he wasn’t sure where ha had felt those feelings before, that feeling of wanting to help someone but still really disliking them, that feeling of being humbled just by talking to them because they won't pull any punches both literally and figuratively. He was trying to think of who he had felt like that for, wh-

”Jasper” he didn’t realise he had said that out loud until everyone had snapped their gazes to him.

”Huh?” the whole room collectively questioned.

”Uh” he said as he was trying to form an explanation for his revelation ”Well, I think I understand what you’re talking about, actually, I think I have those feelings for someone or at least I recognise the feelings.” The statement made Garnet Amethyst and Pearl, all lean forward quizzical expressions ”Well, I recognise the feeling of wanting to keep someone  _ off their high horse _ and keep them grounded and I guess the thing about pissing them off.” Steven paused ”And I definitely resonate with wanting to see this person improve and become better.” 

”Ooh~” Jumped as he heard Davepeta’s voice right next to him ”So who’s the one lucky enough for you to catch black feelings for?”

”What?” Was the only response Steven could think of to the strange question.

”They mean, ’who do you have these feelings for?’” John clarified.

”Oh, um, it’s Jasper.”

“Wait wait wait wait” Pearl was wafting her hands through the air “First of all, we are getting way off track , and second of all” Pearl pointed at John “you referred to this  _ kismesis _ of yours as your partner, does that mean there is something, um,  _ sexual _ about it?” She said the last part with a bit of hesitation and her face turned a light shade of blue.

“It can be” John shrugged “It’s all about what the parties involved want with the relationship, like me and Terezi haven’t done anything but that’s mostly because we haven’t had the chance, we’ve talked about it but not much.” he shrugged again as he finished.

“So, you’re saying that there is physical between the two of you?” Pearl followed up.

“Yeah” John replied simply.

Pearl turned to Steven with a slightly horrified look on her face, Steven knew exactly what that was implying so before Pearl could open her mouth Steven interrupted her ”I know what you’re thinking Pearl and no, I don’t look at Jasper that way, whilst I can recognise that she’s not physically unattractive I just, um, don’t, uh” Steven felt his face heat up as he started stuttering.

”Dawww, he’s flustered” Davepeta cooed.

”Wait, isn’t all this a troll thing?” Pearl asked.

”The concept is, not the feelings” John answered.

Steven face was still getting warmer and was turning a bright shade of pink at the same time, so steven thought this was the best time to get out of there ”uuuuuuuuuuuuh I’m g oing to head out! ” With that he quickly jumped out the door behind him and just bolted down the halls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m really just playing with the Steven/Jasper kismesissitude idea as of now, nothing serious


End file.
